At the same time that the Panhellenic nation is shocked by the case of the police officer of the Parliament who was remanded in custody for the rape of his children, in 2013 a similar case had shaken the Panhellenic nation. At Patras three then minor children were victims sexual abuse and their parents’ twisted appetites.
Today the eldest daughter of the family from Patras, who was sexually abused by her parents from an early age, breaks her silence and for the first time after 11 years speaks exclusively to newsit.gr about the nightmare she and the younger children experienced her brothers.
Then the 17-year-old girl of the large family was the one who decided to put an end to the torture that their 40-year-old builder father and mother had subjected them to. She told the police about the sexual abuse she and her 15-year-old brother and 12-year-old sister were receiving. Their parents were arrested and brought to justice, where they were given the maximum sentences.
The 28-year-old, today a girl who fought all these years and managed to change the page in her life, describes on newsit.gr frame by frame what she experienced and speaking about the case with the police officer of the parliament, emphasizes that we live in a sick society. “When I first heard the news about the Parliament policeman and what he did to his children it reminded me of my own story, my own experiences. I can’t say I didn’t expect to hear something like that again, because we live in a sick society.”
The strict father
As in the case of the police officer of the Parliament, so in the case of Patras, the abusive father maintained a profile of an intact and strict person. “When the door of a house closes, you don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes… outside, everyone can seem like the best family man, just like in my case when the “bang” happened and it was learned, the people who knew my parents fell from their clouds”, says the 28-year-old to newsit.gr and continues adding: “Everyone said that something like this could not happen, my father had the profile of a strict and protective father, we seemed out in the world as family model».
In fact, she categorically denies what has been written since then that the cause of what her father did to her and her siblings was alcohol: “Whatever my father did, he did it sober, those were his sick tastes. I was very young when he started hurting me so young that I remember that I was about kindergarten through first grade».
Having worked on herself and with the composure given by the time distance from the events, the young lady talks about her mother, but also about when the hell she experienced for several years began. In fact, the mother had initially stated that she was sexually abusing her son because she wanted to make him a man, while she later retracted her above statements. “When we were alone at home with my mother, we had peace of mind because we knew that he was not going to tease us, nor hit us, nor touch us sexually. My mother was afraid of my father, ate wood from him. At night I woke up from my sleep hearing them fighting and most of the time the reason was that they didn’t get along sexuallysays the 28-year-old.
“He was telling me he was in love”
She adds: “As far as my father is concerned, I have never been able to psych him up, but what is certain is that he was a man who, in general, was only interested in him having a good time. I avoided conversations with him but he tried to pass off the sexual abuse part as something normal and he told me that many families do this. He was telling me he was in love with me. I did not answer him because I understood that the man was not well. He saw that for so many years I was resisting and he didn’t have me in his hands and he wanted us to reach the point where the sexual act was done with my will.”
The 28-year-old then talks about the beatings her mother received, while not giving her an alibi for not protecting her and her siblings. “Many times when he beat my mother, me and my sister said to her ‘why don’t you divorce him?’ and we were also giving her solutions like talk to grandma or aunt or the police and she says not yet let’s wait for you to grow up a little more so you can work too and we can make ends meet. I don’t care if this woman now regrets all of this, but even then if he threatened her and she was afraid of him… you can’t have your children hurt and not tear yourself away to protect them.”
Immediately after, the eldest child of the family talks about her rape by her father. “He raped me quite often especially during holidays when we didn’t have school like Christmas, Easter, summers and weekends. I was saved by the fact that I had school on weekdays and I told him as an excuse that I had a lot of reading and because I was a good student and they didn’t want me to give up, they liked to be proud that their child was a good student.
For me, I don’t like the holidays, as Christmas is now, because I put these holidays in my mind in a bad way and I associate these days with those days when he raped me every day. When all this was happening my mom was usually in front of the same room and she also participated normally“, says the 28-year-old.
She then brings to mind even worse times and states: “When I was younger my father used to take me and my sister together. Along the way, growing up, everyone went separately. My little brother luckily escaped her because he was very young he was never bothered, he was lucky. My other brother unfortunately he was also a victim of my mother so that she can make him a man and not go with a stranger. As many times as I told him that I don’t want to come into the bedroom, he wasn’t interested, many times he put it on me and as a punishment that is, if I did something wrong, he would tell me that from the moment you did that, you would be in my room every night. For as long as I can remember this has been happening and I felt trapped. I dreamed of growing up, going to study and taking my brothers along. He didn’t like us having friends, he wanted to keep us isolated, probably so we wouldn’t say something to someone.”
Of the 123 years, 8 were in prison
In a steady voice, the 28-year-old says that she spoke with her mother three years after she was sent to prison, while the tangle of the morbid case began to unravel when she made the complaint to the Child’s Smile. The conversation with the 28-year-old who exclusively opened her heart to newsit.gr closes with a message of her own, but also with her criticism of the flexibility of the law, which results in long-term sentences being spread out.
“Me with these people who have been released I have no contact. In the first court that was held my father had a sentence of 123 years and my mother 103 years but in prisons there are day wages, second chance schools as well as good behavior that reduce the sentences. My parents eight and a half years were in prisonmy father was lucky because he was sent to prisons that had inmates who had committed crimes like his. I want nothing to do with them. I’m not going to erase everything I’ve been through and everything they’ve done to me. They were almost released together but eventually each took a different path in life.
As a child I had anxiety for the fate that my brothers and I would have when my folks would go to jail. Because there might be other kids going through the same thing right now i want to shout and to say that when there are such sick situations in your own home then in such a case you do not need your mother and father because these two are the people who abuse and scare you.
When a child experiences something like this they must speak up because this is not going to change, you cannot get out of this situation unless you do something yourself. No child will be left on the street, there are units that host you or foster families, as well as institutions where you will definitely live more normally. The fact that I have reached the age of 28 does not mean that I do not need a mother, but I have come to terms with it and I am moving on.”